It's My Life...

It's my life. We've all said it at one point. We've probably jammed along with Bon Jovi, Blondie, or No Doubt while they sang songs directly about it. We've uttered the phrase in times of happiness, sorrow, guilt, anger, and relief. We've said and heard it so often that it seems that it has lost its meaning and the weight it should carry.

When was the last time that you truly considered what you were saying? If you are anything like me, I would guess that the answer would be not very recently; if at all. I began to consider this statement and the ramifications that it has. By saying this, I am essentially claiming to have control of a state of being that we actually have little idea of how to control. No matter how much control we believe that we have over our lives, there is always some event that occurs that we did not anticipate. Some obstacle that jumps in the way, just as we think we've gotten everything figured out.

Due to this lack of predictability and understanding, how can we say that we have ownership or possession of this abstract state of being? It's kind of like pointing at some water flowing in a stream and saying that you have control over it. If I made claims such as that, it would not take long before someone called me out as a fool. How could I hope to control water as it is affected by its natural surroundings? The surroundings that cause it to take on energy and create waves, disappear through evaporation, return as condensation, freeze in place, flow freely, return to the earth, or drift off into the atmosphere.

Likewise, how could I claim to have any significant amount of control over something that can change completely from one breath to the next? Interestingly enough, the same natural surroundings that affect water's state of being also similarly affect our lives and how we live them. They can stagnate, flow freely, return to the earth or atmosphere, experience the seeming finality of death, only to be reborn with increased strength into a different experience. This life is easily influenced and quickly altered, can I really fathom attempting to claim that I understand it's ways enough to control it?

However, as I am writing this, it occurs to me that maybe I am looking at this from the wrong angle. Perhaps it is not that we are actually declaring our control of our lives themselves. Instead, maybe we are using this statements as an attempt to justify our actions and the ways in which we exercise our freewill. This seemingly makes sense on the surface. Why shouldn't we be able to do what we want, using the methods that we want? Shouldn't we be able to make our choices independent from the judgment of others?

I believe that we should be able to make our decisions without being judged. However, we should be able to observe others' decisions without passing judgment upon them. Often times, I think that we emphasize the first part of this but easily forget about the second part. However, as you can see, the first and the second statements need to be fulfilled by others and ourselves in order for either to become reality.

This ties into the ideal that we should love our neighbor as we love ourselves, which implies that we have to both love our neighbor and love ourselves in order for this ideal to become a reality. We need to recognize the Spirit that resides within others and treat them as if we are interacting with someone who shares the deepest and truest connection with us that we could ever imagine. By recognizing the God that is within ourselves and others, our purpose in the lives that we claim as our own, not only becomes clear and unique, but also less separate from the other lives that surround us.

Acting upon this knowledge can teach us that although we have different gifts to share with others in this world, our general purpose is to help one another and celebrate in the divine that we recognize in others. Perhaps if I begin to live more attune to my purpose in life, it will spread and others will share this awareness. Perhaps we will focus less on what is best for us individually, and instead what it best for the world as a whole.

Maybe if we live with this in mind, we can discover our true selves and move beyond ourselves. Hopefully we can move to be more love-centered, rather than self-centered. Rather than defiantly stating "It's my life, I can do what I want" we can instead peacefully reflect by saying "It's my life, how can I use it to make a lasting difference on the lives of others?"

It's our life. Let's make sure we don't waste it.